Naught for All

OK, here it is. My first blog ever. I was thinking about myspace, wondering who all these people looking at my page are and wondering why they don't leave me notes and whatnot. This made me think of an astute observation from Ian Anderson. At some point he mentioned that he'd come to realize that myspace lends itself well to the 'yearbook mentality'. I wanted to compare the comments I get on here with the notes people left in my yearbooks, so I went ahead and dug one out. I went through and read everything written in the '03 Buccaneer, theme: Life.

I was going to write a blog about how lame the stuff people wrote was; about how they made all these requests and promises and then never followed through. Sadly (or not?), mostly all the comments were really quite excellent. Not many people wrote asinine things about how we were going to hang out a lot or about how we would totally have to do this or that next year. In fact, many of the people who said things like, “Let's keep in touch,” still contact me regularly. Some people even wrote very kind things about what a cool guy I am. It actually made me feel good to read back through it and I recommend it heartily.
There were also a few really entertaining and reasonable notes. Lisa hopes “we'll chill like villains at some point in our lives.” That's not too much to ask! Annie is “really sorry [her] brother and his friends treated [me] like shit.” She also said, “I know you'll probably never call, but I'll leave you my number anyways.” Realists; I like that.

A few people did write lame-ass things. People I have not seen or had any contact with since the signing incident wrote all of the following:

• “I want weekly updates on your life!”
• “I'm going to miss you so much!”
• “I want you to write me some more poetry...”
• “I'm sad you'll be gone.”
• “I will try to keep sending you silly emails...”
• “We have to keep in touch no matter what.”

So anyway, back to the point. These days I am no longer as bemused by the people who leave comments laced with empty promises and such; I know who my friends are. The ones that get me are these mystery visitors who leave no trace. These people are interested enough to read about me or maybe look at my pictures, but not enough to say hi or tell me what they are up to? I find that odd. Some 650-odd times a soul has happened across my profile, and only one in ten times have they bothered to say anything. If I had a record that bad in face-to-face communication, I'd be rather worried. “Hey look, there's Nick.” (Nick walks up, looks at me, walks away) “Uh... Nick?” I can hear your thoughts already, “Well, myspace isn't real life.”

I think that maybe the bottom line is that I am having some trouble adjusting to the myspace way of life. I log in every day because this service allows me to stay in touch with some of my elsewhere-pals easier. I miss having them around in real life, so I go make a joke on their comments in lieu. It is, as far as non-verbal communication goes, a pretty efficient way to swap wit. This is what I like about myspace.

In using this service, though, I have branched out beyond just the five people I banter with often and I'm left with all sorts of problems. What if I see someone in person who I last contacted on myspace? Do I say anything? Maybe your myspace self is like an alter-ego. “What happens on myspace stays on myspace.” What about the people in my 'friends' who don't even really like me in real life? Should I delete them? I could befriend them on myspace, I guess. It might be different on myspace. Maybe it's like art. Perhaps you can't paint a horse, but maybe you could make one out of clay. There are even people among my friends who I have never messaged, people whose profiles I've never seen. Is that not odd? I mean, what the hell is the point? Or how about people who would never go out of their way to get your address, phone number, or email to drop you a line, but then they want to know how you are doing on myspace? Honestly, I have nothing to say to these people.

Maybe I should just forget about it. I think I think too much. I intended this blog thing to be funny, amusing to read. It got a little too analytical and I bet I lost a lot of my readership. I think the next entry will be funny instead of weird. Don't even bother leaving me a comment telling me you are disappointed; I'll just figure it was you when I see that my counter has clicked up one.

So do I sign off with a closing or something? The confusion just never ends.

Health to you and yours, and may all your myspace questions find answers in the FAQ!

P.S. I really hate the fucking bulletins; people need to stop posting sophomoric bullshit. I feel like it is a little spam window. When someone does finally put something interesting up it gets flooded out by the deluge of chain-mail crap. I am a hair's breadth away from deleting the five people who seem to post 90% of the crap. Are these folks the same people who are keeping Star magazine and the National Inquirer afloat? Damn them.